Chatty identical twins Jack and Joe share everything - friends, interests and even the same bedroom.
They finish off each other’s sentences and think it would be odd to be apart.
“We’re funny, we’re friendly, and we’re fat,†they say.
The twins are the youngest in their family and have three older sisters.
Jack’s party trick is “putting spoons under my moobs and holding them thereâ€. He admits this is disgusting.
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Jack is not looking for love in the house as he would be worried about the cameras and mum and dad watching.
They love musicals and treat themselves to seeing one every payday.
Jack and Joe support the Conservative party. Jack started to support them because of his dad and says “Ed Miliband is the main reason I don’t trust Labourâ€.
Richard Branson is their idol because he has done so much and as Jack says “he is dyslexic and now he has an island.
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And so, that's pretty much it - unless you're heading over to BBBOTS with Rylan. And then the live feed. And so the summer is lost to us again.
Just before Emma prepares us for a upbeat montage, we discover the following about tomorrow's episode.
- Viewers will take control of the People's Puppet.
- Another six housemates will be joining the fun.
- They will include: "Britain's most spoilt girl, a hot copper, a lingerie model, a championship boxer and - for the first time ever - a mother and her daughter.
Predictions for first out, anybody? Could be bye-bye to Melissa, I reck.
Good job by Emma. Okay launch episode. You can see the magazine deals for everyone, already.
See you here tomorrow, same time.
There are some blokes in hi-vis vest and an actual shredder. Why the vests, fellas? Housemates aren't supposed to SEE anyone.
"My make up's in there, do you know what that means?" says Sophie, in a tone that is pretty close to being 'threatening'.
"You f****** b***-***," says someone else.
They're not giving Michael an easy time either, even though most seem to have decided that it is all "fake" anyway.
And they don't even mean his over-acting.
Alright, let's not mess about - which Big Brother housemate is annoying you the most already?
ÂThe group assemble on the sofas near a TV screen which transmits our view of the Diary Room.
Big Brother tells Michael all the suitcases are in the garden and he has 30 seconds to decide between either his luggage or theirs has to be destroyed.
He decides to keep his stuff. Sallie does some swearing, Wolfy puts her head in her hands.
Callum gives Michael a handshake and Wolfy gives him a hug as he comes back in. But Sallie is kicking off...
And then she raises the possibility that it could be a "double trick". Emma however cuts to the break and promises that THE SHREDDER is being fired up.
My God, it has finally become The Running Man.
Little bit of background on Dexter - he's featured in the Daily Mirror before.
Last year, as he oh-so casually crowbarred in, he spent a disgusting amount of money on champagne during a night out.
Read more about his behaviour,here.
It's all about to kick off with Michael, apparently. Big Brother has called for a housemate to come to the Diary Room.
And Michael has rushed there.
Sparkles or not, Emma. I just don't think a pink microphone is a good idea.
And here we have 'celebrity publicist' Dexter Koh, who tells himself he's the best known - and probably youngest - sugar daddy.
'When you're as ugly as me, you need to pay for it,' he says - before saying he's not in it for the fame or the money.
The obvious gag there would be, "Welcome to Channel 5!". But Dexter is like former BB bighead Kenneth Tong.
Only without the charm.
Sam thinks he's going to miss his mum - but mostly because he's not sure how he'll cope without her cooking. That never goes, matey.
He greets people with hugs and shoulder bumps. And as he does, we hear that Sallie DJs in a nightclub in Cardiff that features in The Valleys. Small world when you're a reality TV star, eh?
is a dental nurse, she takes TOWIE as a style inspiration.
She says she "don't give a s***" but seems quite wounded when people think she may not be bright.
She's sparky. And could probably have you, should it be necessary.
She comes out in a surprising ball gown. She's gone all out.
Seems - don't faint now - like a nice, normal young lady.
Jemima got the most boos and Wolfie the most cheers in a totally considered poll of the live crowd as we come back from the break.
Sam Evans is out seventh housemate in, he's Welsh and partially deaf. He says he's reliant on lip-reading.
He's got one of those boyband hairstyles and has a cheesy grin, apparently.
How appropriate - he comes out to one of those One Direction songs that Arg sings. That's my frame of reference, okay?
"She kissed a fish and she liked it," Emma enthuses when the cameras cut back from what had become a bit of throbbing throng in the house.
Presumably she's referring to Wolfie's angling. Yes, must be that.
Just to address some of the hysteria on Twitter, Wolf from Gladiators has NOT entered the Big Brother house.
'Big Brother: Gladiators' is the spin off show we've all been waiting for. Jet would win, obviously.
Sallie's buttocks are hanging out of her jean dungaree short things. Bad luck on the people in the office tomorrow, those are all of the pictures that are going to be wanted.
Wolfie is up next and she describes herself as a "hardcore lesbian fisherwoman." She has a mackerel tattooed on her leg.
She's 20 and a student and has been in a committed relationship for four years. All of this in quite a blaring manner.
But subdued blaring, like to the booming of a nightclub when your head is down the toilet.
Jovial, though. Her shorts make it look like a little bit like she's wearing eco-knickerbockers.
Callum, 28, a sports coach describes himself as "laid back with a sharp edge".
Softly spoken geezer, he allowed the camera to film him blowing himself a kiss in the mirror.
He's had it away with a mother and daughter before. Does that count as two Christmas cards or just one from the family?
Strangely, for such a smooth operator, he seems to have come as a member of Blue after a Topman raid.
Asked his first question about being a ladies' man, he replies: "Sorry".
We all are already, mate.
During the ad break, there was a plug for 'My Face Is Eating Me Alive', which I think was another documentary.
I really need more Channel 5 in my life, even if my general brain activity does not.
Michael is due to do something that everyone is going to hate TONIGHT.
Gird yourself, people.
Right, you've seen enough of those pics of the inside of the house now, haven't you?
If not, click this link - it'll sort you out.
We've got enough shoddy pics now for you to see what's been happening so far.
It's like real TV. Only a lot slower and make you wonder whether you've got conjunctivitis.
Sallie's drinking a jar of wine inside. Hell fire that drinking trend needs to end.
Correction to earlier: Emma's shoes are actually pink.
Now here comes the twist - it is revealed that Michael is not a postman, but an actor.
He apparently is the secret! God, those best secrets are the ones you never hear about.
Michael is to be the viewer's puppet - we will decide what actions he takes.
His first task comes tonight, set by Big Brother.
This is Twitter TV and no mistake. May God have mercy on us all.
So Emma promised us that the secret would come after the third intro - and yet we're straight into number 4.
Michael is a 29-year-old, very eloquent postman from Cork.
He says that he has a gameplan, but he's not going to reveal it yet.
He apologises to Emma in case he is boring in there.
Jemima is 41, and runs a dating site for gold-diggers.
Her youngest partner was her ex, who was 19. It wasn't disclosed how old she was at the time. But whoever came up with that question in the production team.
She does some lookalike work as Sarah Jessica-Parker, which means I could probably, too.
Jemima tells Emma that she wants to get married this year. That's quite an introductory conversation topic when you're single.
And the googling has commenced...
According to the internet, Sallie may be friends with some fairly famous folk. Looks like she is acquainted with Tom Pearce of TOWIE.
Her modelling shots pop up right at the top of the page, but I don't have time for such frivolities.
She's got nearly 53,000 followers, which is basically a 1/16th of a One Direction person so she's not your average Joanna.
Got an agent, too.
Sallie is full of sass. And she's just said an 'f' word.
She doesn't appear to be wearing a bra, either. Can I mask that as a fashion verdict? She's wearing dungarees.
A glamour model, she's previously had a relationship with a woman but isn't any longer.
Nuts and ZOO are already filing through their pictures archives.
Jack’s party trick is apparently “putting spoons under my moobs and holding them thereâ€.
Both are Tories and single. The hint's there, lads.
They had a little tumble down the stairs, but otherwise the one fella's lapel flower stayed intact.
And the next person up is...
Joe and Jack are twins, and apparently count as one person.
They spend about £100 a week eating out, they say - and are very fond of a carvery.
Both supermarket workers, one lad is gay and one is straight. One is slightly bigger framed, too.
Down to earth lads, slightly camp - very excited to be there.
Emma's getting a pit out of puff showing us around the compound.
She could certainly add estate agent to her CV. She's selling it well.
The diary room is a kind of indigo hue, with doors behind in a kind of panelling effect.
And here come the first housemates...
Right - instant fashion verdict, as qualified as I am to judge other's appearance.
Emma Willis is wearing a blue dress. And red shoes. She's a darned good-looking woman.
She's just promised us that the housemates are going to be "corkers".
And apparently, the 'secret' is going to be worth the wait...
House looks quite different doesn't it? Like a hipster gym.
So, yes - all sorts of hell.
Will anyone be missing Brian Dowling? Thought he'd been doing a likeable job, but Emma does have more polish.
And Rylan should be very in-the-spirit entertaining. Man puts an effort in, can't deny him that.
Anyone watching this documentary about Kate and Wiliam on Channel 5?
It's basically telling their celebrity story, in the style of E4.
EDM doesn't cut it as a soundtrack to such plummy voices.
ANYWAY, READY FOR BIG BROTHER THEN?
Hello, this is Rob. You are live on our Big Brother launch night blog - please do not swear! That's my job.
Davina McCall may not be the one with the microphone these days but her spirit lives on, and so does BB.
Another batch of wannabes are heading into the goldfish bowl tonight from 9pm, welcomed into the 14th series of the reality show by Emma Willis, who has taken over from Brian Dowling.
We will be live-blogging it right here throughout the evening.
So will there be a topless model and a lingerie model heading into the house? How about a set of twins?
It isn't long until we find out. In the meantime vote on your favourite ever Big Brother winner below (or you could check out the sexiest housemates ever if you'd rather...).
Either way, join our commentary throughout the show - and bookmark our Big Brother section for housemate profiles, the latest news and more.
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