"Gossip Girl's dead": Want a super secret sneak peak of the series finale? SPOILER WARNING

"Gossip Girl's dead": Want a super secret sneak peak of the series finale? SPOILER WARNING

18 Dec 2012 14:19

If you don't want to know what happened in the LAST EVER EPISODE, you need to cover your eyes now. And probably leave the country

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Blake ends the series with a dress from Coast

FameFlynet

On the off-chance that you clicked this link only to be filled with a wave of spoiler regret - fear not. We're going to give you one more chance not to ruin the ending for yourself.

Instead of finding out WHO GOSSIP GIRL IS, you can read about Imogen Thomas' latest Twitter war. Or you can find out which celebrity is currently celebrating their divorce with some bunting. Or you could open an advent calendar. Or vote for your favourite sex dungeon in the 3am-emmy awards.

Or, you could just continue reading. And then pretend to act surprised when the episode airs in the UK next year.

The Gossip Girl cast are going their separate ways after six series. Sad face

 

The episode, entitled "New York I Love You, XOXO" kicks off with a recap of the entire last series. Which we'd love to recap for you here as well, but quite frankly don't have the time.

Basically, Chuck's dad Bart: bad. Everybody else: morally questionable.

So when the episode kicks off with Chuck's father Bart falling from a rooftop in a scene only somewhat resemblant of the Lion King, and Chuck finding himself in the frame for his death. In between some forehead furrowing and some slightly eerie background music, Chuck's forced to go into hiding with Blair.

And what's the best thing to do when you're in hiding after being accused of murder?

Get engaged. DUH.

"We don't need money, we can live off the land," says Blair, before deciding that marriage would be a more sensible option. After all, that way she can't be forced to testify against Chuck.

Plus she won't have to so much as look at any land.

If Blake Lively dyes her hair pink after this series we're going to make a fuss

SPLASH

While Blair and Chuck proceed to arrange the most glamourous impromptu wedding ceremony since Cinderella, (for only slightly less romantic reasons),  Serena continues to stretch her earlobes with some dangly diamonds, no matter the circumstance. And the final chapter of Dan's novel is submitted for publication. Which leads to a lovely "ten years earlier" sequence, revealing the moment when Dan and Serena first met one another.

Which is something we thought would have been covered before now in the series. But apparently not.

On the other side of town, Nate has just found out that in the light of Bart's death he owns the Spectator newspaper, Ivy has a bit of a tiff with William. And pretty much the whole cast goes to Blair's wedding.

Scroll down to the very end if you want to find out who Gossip Girl is...

 

Guess which character makes a surprise comeback?

While Blair gives Serena a talking to about Dan and his "humble roots", we spend three minutes admiring her hair accessories and staring open mouthed at Chuck's choice of wedding suit. And the happy couple walk down the aisle to the tune of police sirens.

And with that out of the way, it's time for a push notification.

But only after a completely pointless lovely cameo from Kristen Bell and Rachel Bilson.

"The Upper East Side was like something from Fitzgerald or Thackeray," reads Dan off-screen. "Teenagers behaving like adults, adults behaving like teenagers, and all with the trappings of truly opulent wealth.

"And membership in this community was so elite, you couldn't even buy your way in. It was a birthright. A birthright I didn't have. The only thing I had to compare was what I'd read about in books. And that's what gave me the idea. If I wasn't born into this world, maybe I could write my way in..."

And now, if you haven't already guessed it, allow us to unveil the identity of Miss Gossip herself...

Three...

Two...

One...

IT'S DAN HUMPRHIES!

"Every writer needs his muse," Dan continues. "When Serena came back from boarding school, I wrote my first post about me...Lonely Boy, the outsider, the underdog. I may have been a joke but at least people were talking about me."

"Jenny's known it was me for years," he adds. "She sent the tips in herself."

Which does kind of make sense.  In a Katie Price  / Leandro Penna / Alex Reid kind of way.

Luckily for Dan, Serena appears to be into that kind of thing. Because the series then fastforwards five years. 

To their wedding day.

We'd like Blake to lend us her toothpaste

FameFlyNet

We don't want to give away everything. But let's just say that one of the cast members is a mum. One is running for mayor. And - for once - they all appear to be getting along.

And that, appears to be that.

At least until the following words:

"You may be rid of Dan Humphrey but you'll never be rid of me. There'll always be someone on the outside wanting to get in. Who am I now? That's one secret I'll never tell. XoXo. Gossip Girl"

Meaning that we're just counting down the months until the spin off series.