Sabtu, 17 Agustus 2013

Happy 55th Birthday Madonna! Here are 55 ways you changed the world

Happy 55th Birthday Madonna! Here are 55 ways you changed the world

1. 'Like A Virgin'

It's hard to imagine, in this post-internet-Rihanna-in-a-gimp-mask world, but the release of 'Like A Virgin' in 1984, ( watch it , it's actually really weird) which saw Madge writhing round in a wedding dress in Venice, caused shock and outrage among moralists who tried to get the video banned. Who are these moralists? And imagine if they watched a clip of Rudeboy.

2. Turned fishnets, bangles, crucifixes, skirts over trousers and lace gloves into 'a look' not just a jumble sale

Inspired by the New York club kids at the time, Madonna's style became THE defining look in the 80s. And continues today if you go into your nearest Primark.

3. 'Like A Prayer'

A video which featured burning crosses, stigmata and the Queen of Pop having sex with a saint was condemned by the Vatican and caused Pepsi (who Madge had an endorsement deal with) to cancel her contract. Controversial stuff! Watch it here.

4. Created a dance craze

Don't pretend you've never done the 'Vogue' moves.

5. Made underwear as outerwear acceptable

Madge's collaboration with Jean Paul Gautier on 1990's Blonde Ambition tour led to that gold, pointy corset. Up there with Jacko's red jacket as one of the most iconic outfits in music history.

Madonnna performing on the Blond Ambition Tour
Everyone probably shouted POINTY BOOBS! when this moment happened

 

6. Wrote a pop song about abortion

Papa Don't Preach. And it's a great track. Even if it is a bit Pro-Lifey for our tastes.

7. Made having sex with your 'help' a thing

Any number of celebs have now copped off with their backing dancers/ personal trainers /bodyguards (hi J-lo!) but Madonna started the trend by having a baby with her fitness instructor Carlos Leon.

8. Speaking of which, can we take a minute to appreciate Carlos Leon?

Carlos Leon attends The Cinema Society  Sony Alpha Nex screening of Get Low
We would.
 

9. Made soft-core porn really stylish...

Madonna's infamous coffee-table book SEX (catchy title) sold over 150,000 copies on the first day of release and led to Madge getting the nickname 'The Queen of the Obscene'.

10. ...and being a dominatrix mainstream

For The Girly Show tour in 1993 (while Rihanna was still in pigtails) Madonna dressed as a whip-cracking dominatrix surrounded by topless dancers. The show faced negative reaction, specifically in Puerto Rico where she rubbed the island's flag between her legs on stage. We can see why that might of annoyed them a bit.

11. Orchestrated one of the greatest chat-show moments of all-time           

In March 1994 Madonna appeared as a guest on the Late Show With David Letterman and proceeded to hand him her underwear and ask him to smell it. You don't get that on Parky. Watch it here.

12. We can no longer look at Evian bottles in the same way

After this clip of her demonstrating oral sex on a bottle of water. It really is amazing.

 

13. She proved pop stars CAN act...

Desperately Seeking Susan and A League Of Their Own are awesome films and Madonna's actually really good in them. 

14. ...But not always

The less said about Swept Away, Dick Tracy, Shanghai Surprise and The Next Best Thing the better.

15. Gave us Guy Ritchie...

If Sting hadn't introduced Madge to the Lock Stock director in 1999, he might've had a very different (and probably better) career.

16. ...And also Rupert Everett

Even if he did then slag her off in his autobiography.

17. Managed to make Gwyneth Paltrow interesting for a while

And that's saying something.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna inside Madonna and Gucci Host A Night to Benefit Raising Malawi and UNICEF in 2007
Oh Gwyn we LOVE your dancing face

 

18. She basically invented cougar town!

Even in her 50s, Madge loves dating 20-something dancers, preferably with names like Jesus.

19. Brings new meaning to embarrassing mums

Feel sorry for Lourdes.

20. Revealed that there is, in fact, a limit to what you can wear to the Met Costume Ball Gala

And that it involves kilts. And bright pink platforms. And wigs.

Madonna attends the Costume Institute Gala for the PUNK: Chaos to Couture exhibition
W T actual F

 

21. Inspired a whole host of teenage celebrities to go to the dentist

When she wore diamond grills. Look, check this out.

22. Popularised Argentinian politics

Before Madonna played Eva Peron we didn't really know anything about Argentina's General Peron. In fact, we still don't. All we can remember is that song on the balcony    

23. Started her own record label

In 1992 Madge founded Maverick records and negotiated herself 20% of all music royalties. Which proved useful as she later went on to sell a few of those.

24. Launched the careers of Alanis Morrisette and The Prodigy

By signing them to her Maverick label. And Jagged Little Pill is SUCH a good album.

25. Gave us all a lesson in how to stay current by rubbing her bum in Ali G' s face

If you want that lesson again, you can watch the whole video to Music here.

26. Provided hope for the world

When she didn't know who One Direction were, and had to be told during a live interview

27. Shocked with her choice of boyfriends/girlfriends

Sean Penn, Vanilla Ice, Warren Beatty, Sandra Bernhardt, not really a type emerging is there?

28. Gave Reservoir Dogs' its iconic opening scene

You know, the bit where Mr Brown (Quentin Tarantino) discusses how 'Like A Virgin' is a metaphor of um, the thing Robin Thicke claims to have.

29. And provided a memorable moment in Birds Of A Feather

When Dorien sings 'Like A Virgin' dahn karaoke.

30. Proved 'Bedtime Stories' wasn't just an album title...

When her children's book The English Roses beca me the fastest-selling kids book of all-time.

31. Made fencing sort of sexy

Madonna in Die Another Day
Everyone realises this film is shocking
 

32. Invented Lady Gaga

No really, she did. She grew her in a test tube like a mad scientist. Listen to this.

33. Put Malawi on the map

Madonna's Raising Malawi Organisation has built ten schools to educate 4,781 children. And she's only stolen two of them. JOKE! Please don't sue us.

34. Sparked the trend for celebrity adoption

Madge adopted two orphans (or were they?) from Malawi, David Bande Mwale in 2006 and Chifundo "Mercy" James in 2009.

35. Proved you're never too old to wear a leotard

This woman is in her 50s for chrissakes!

Madonna appears backstage during the MTV Europe Music Awards 2005
Check me out

 

36. She's the reason you know what Kaballah is

Madge got into Jewish mysticism in 1997, waaay before Demi and Ashton, OK?

37. Made us all worry about wrinkly hands

Why ARE hers so wrinkly?

38. She turned down Prince (PRINCE!)

When he asked her to be in his movie Graffiti Bridge. Never heard of it? Exactly. Good choice Madonna. By the way, Prince is on Twitter if you're interested.

39. Made it OK to be a girl and want to snog Britney Spears

And Christina. And Nicki Minaj.

Britney Spears and Madonna perform their opening act at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards
Definitely with tongues

 

40. Helped write songs for Amy Winehouse (sort of)

Felix Howard, the baby-faced, slightly creepy 13-year-old in the Open Your Heart video, is now a music biz bigwig and has written songs for Amy Winehouse, Kylie Minogue and Sugababes. Watch little Felix here.

41. Showed us all how to style out falling over during a concert

Watch a clip of her best falls here. And check out this hilarious moment at a gig in Dallas.

42. Is the reason you probably once owned cowboy boots at some point in the early 2000s

Blame this video.

43. Became t he only thing it's still OK to like about Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

44. And gave this really bizarre interview to Mike Myers which is definitely worth a read .

45. Shes's still the queen of controversial music videos

Even 2001's 'What It Feels Like For A Girl' was banned for excessive violence. Come on, MTV!

46. Gave us the best Glee episode of all-time: 'The Power Of Madonna'

47. Inspired Robbie Williams' fairly good song 'She's Madonna'

Watch it here if you like.

48. And that Androids song 'Do It With Madonna'

We're getting a bit desperate now. But seriously, whatever happened to them, eh? Reminisce about that song here.

49. Became the poster girl for every struggling young singer/actor/dancer with a dream

Although apparently the rumour that she turned up in New York with only $35 and some ballet shoes is BS.

50. Made being British cool for a while

And then she ruined it by talking in that weird accent and wearing lots of tweed

51. Gave us some amazing quotes

Like this choice number: "I want to be like Gandhi and Martin Luther King and John Lennon - but I want to stay alive."

52. Inspired people to go under the knife

Madonna's was named the "ultimate face" by plastic surgeons as hers is one of their clients' most sought-after "visages". It is very smooth.

53. Provided Gary Barlow with the song Love Won't Wait

Memor able wasn't it? Apparently it went to number one.

54. Once inspired this headline 'Fallen Madonna With The Big Boobies'

When she fell off a horse. You sort of need to know art history and have watched 'Allo 'Allo to get that joke.

55. She's the biggest-selling female artist of all-time.

With 64.5 million albums sold to date. Respect.

Let's look at a gallery of her best moments (there's not 55 of them don't worry)

View gallery
View gallery

 

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